If you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just received a raise at work – the flowers you give them are just going to add to their joy, and you are going to have a wonderful evening.

However, if you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just got fired from work – they may look at the flowers and give a quick smile just to acknowledge you and quickly go back to sulking – or worse, they may be hateful and yell, “WHAT GOOD ARE FLOWERS GOING TO DO ME NOW?!?!? ARE THEY HIRING FLORISTS?!?!”

Of course, this is common sense – but it is a perfect example of why people pleasing doesn’t work 100% of the time. You will never be able to predict what kind of mood anyone is going to be in all the time, simply because things will always happen outside of our control. Consequently, your happiness or misery is in the other person’s hands, which puts you into a very vulnerable position.

I have developed what I call, “The People Pleasing Quadrant” to broaden readers awareness of what people-pleasing is, and what to do once those people-pleasing tendencies rear their ugly heads. Quadrant means “four” which means there are four different situations you will find yourself in that you will need to develop strategies to combat your people-pleasing tendencies. The four situations are as follows:

Quadrant # 1: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people ALSO like or love you in return:

This first quadrant is the easiest to manage, because at least you genuinely like or love the person you are dealing with, and they like or love you as well. However, remember the example we used above about the lover losing their job and the flowers? No matter how much you like or love someone, or how much they like or love you, bad things happen sometimes. We all say things we don’t mean. The trick is to not take the people you care about personally, and feel responsible for “fixing” them. Let the person you like and love be hurt, angry, mad, and upset. It doesn’t have to affect your core happiness, although you can sympathize with the person and let them know you will be there for them, if they want to talk. Besides, this person cares about you – and they don’t want to drag you down, just because they are having a bad day. Give them a little space, and let things sort themselves out. Spend your energy focusing on more productive ventures, such as going for a jog to get in shape, studying for an important test, or reading a book that is of interest to you. People-pleasing is really annoying to people who like or love you already. They don’t expect you to make everything better, they just need some time to get over it.

Quadrant # 2: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people DON’T like or love you in return:

The second quadrant is oftentimes the most painful quadrant to come to terms with, regardless if it is about a “friend,” family member, or lover. Once in a great while, we can like or even love someone who doesn’t like or love us in return. We do everything in our power to be “good” enough, “supportive” enough, “encouraging” enough, “kind” enough, whatever enough! But somehow, it is never enough, and it never will be.

Once in awhile, these people we like or love are nice to us out of pity, guilt, regret or remorse – or because we are fulfilling some kind of need for them that they don’t want to give up. Don’t mistake their temporary kindness as genuine concern! Because honestly, these people don’t like or love us at all. It could be for a variety of reasons, but those reasons don’t have anything to do with you. The trick for getting over people-pleasing in this quadrant is to realize what quadrant these people belong in, and come to terms with the fact that they don’t like or love you. On the other hand, realize that there are millions of other people out here who would absolutely adore you. Realize that you are wasting your valuable and precious time with people pleasing, especially in this quadrant, because no matter what you do, it won’t matter. Just move on to someone who will like, love and appreciate the beautiful person you are.

Quadrant # 3: Dealing with the people you DON’T like or love when those people DO like or love you.

Most of the people-pleasing in this quadrant comes out of guilt, pity or personal gain. Although I must admit, it is really hard not to like someone who likes you, but you may be able to definitely see that the other person likes or loves you WAY more than you likeor love them.

I believe my grandmother taught me a very gracious lesson about how to handle situations in quadrant three. One day, a boy who just moved into my neighborhood decided to ask me out on a date. He really had a crush on me, and I could tell. However, I didn’t feel the same way about him. But I did enjoy all of the flowers, candy and attention he gave me. 
At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with taking whatever he was willing to give. But my grandmother pulled me aside and told me why it wasn’t nice to encourage gestures and lead a person on, especially when I knew his intentions. Of course, I liked him as a person because he was so sweet. But the truth of the matter is, he was wasting his time courting me when I wasn’t interested. Although I could have continued to use him, I went with granny’s advice and politely told him that I could no longer accept gifts because I was not interested in dating anyone at that time.

-
About the Author:
Are you ready to discover the little-known ancient secrets of authentic happiness and start creating the life you’ve always been dreaming of? Visit http://www.theforgottensecretsofhappiness.com for more info (free preview!)
Article Source

You can implement successful business plans and packages that is taking the money world to the Next Dimension, you can come with head-turning and ineffable innovations that will transmute and modify the status of the scientific, technological or arts world in less than a second…it only takes you believing in yourself.

Believe you can fly so high as the eagle and elucidate the soupçon of susurration, buzz, fizzle, whiz and silver-lining façade of the cloud even if the earth is in a blaze, the world in a maze, the sphere in a raze and the inhabitants laze away.

You can open a neoteric chapter and get to the top-notch in your field of study, sphere of contact, realm of influence and beyond your province. You can inspire neoteric aspirations, you can inspire society and commonalty to aspire to the notch and not to expire, you can call-into-being neoteric ways of looking at the system that drives the progress of humanity.You can focus your eyes on the time to come, put two and two together to get to the bottom of the world real challenges:

You can bring people to their feet to carry to successful completion their purpose for living which is tied to their success and prosperity, you can encourage, enable, enlighten, enrich and empower society and commonalty to manifest their ability, creativity, ingenuity and originality, you can give a slip of a boy (or girl) and the full-grown a shot in the arm to get sophic in their potentiality than doing the amorality and dishonesty; you can put a stop to debauchery, treachery, trickery, dodgery, forgery and skullduggery to bring out the raving beauty of this world and, bring your excellence and integrity to happy issue.

Believe in your mission; bring to a happy issue things you really set your heart upon, master your life, understand the you that can derive and unfold, seek and employ your purpose! You can, for sure you can; come into relation with CataPult-2-Succcess formular: Courage and Practice will distinguish you and the whole world will panegyrize you.

Copyright, Anyaele Sam Chiyson

-
About the Author:
ANYAELE SAM CHIYSON, A Writer, Computer Scientist, Leadership expert, Marriage Counselor, Business Consultant; an Electrical/Electronics engineer, Info-&-Entrepreneur is the Founder/CEO of Chiysonovelty International & Head of Operations – Before40 Youth Empowerment Foundation for better Citizenship. He has created businesses and raised authors of credibility. He has authored works of wealth and wisdom including a Best-Selling Knowledge Book – The Sagacity of Sage. He is also a Motivational/Inspirational/Financial speaker; an immortal who believes in inspiring all and sundry live a healthy, happy and totally-fulfilled life. His Soon-to-be-released Book – The Richest & Strongest Man in The world is an invention that would ignite/initiate the desired changes that eluded the World’s brightest and smartest minds and the key operators of the world’s largest economies; it is the choicest one! His work – The Sagacity of Sage is more than a book and a must-read for every man and woman!
And you’re just away from getting your own sagacious copy. See links below.
http://www.amazon.com/Sagacity-Sage-Anyaele-Sam-Chiyson/dp/1592321534
http://i-proclaimbookstore.com/212unwiofans.html
http://www.i-proclaimbookstore.com/chwepopr.html
Be Creative and Innovative! Rule your world and impact the world
Article Source

We all had something familier to this happen to us. It’s called Intuition.

In these busy times we usually dismiss it or just don’t pay attention to that little voice or that “Gut Feeling”.

Well you could benefit  if you to started listening to and trusted your intuition more. You may have to learn how to do this again. It was probably more natural to do when you were younger.

Here are some tips that could help you to use your intuition more or at least get you into a better state of mind and release some stress.

• Find a quiet Place
• Breathe deeply a few times
• Quiet the voices in your head
• Remember a pleasant experience or memory
• Imagine time is passing and that you are weeks into the future and your problems no longer exist
• Let go of your problem
• Go forward with your daily routines with a feeling of expecting great things and be aware of any hunches or ideas you have

Try this for a few days or a week and see what you think.