“so how much is my changes?” he asked the waiter.The waiter had been stunned, wondering if he had heard correctly . “I beg your pardon, sir”, the waiter replied. He looked at me and his eyes simply said ” I’ve goofed again”

I saw the flicker of pain and i quickly covered up for him. I counselled him for about an hour, telling him that he was already half way through solving the goofing problem.

“how ?” he asked sadly

“once you realize and accept that you’ve got a problem and you know what it is, you’re half way there” I replied

I went on to tell him of those who taught themselves to read, those who were determined to speak the English language fluently in the face of challenges. They left no stone unturned in their quest to hold their heads high in public.

Verbal means of communication can be very challenging especially when not speaking in your indigenous language. Your local dialect or the one spoken while you were growing up somewhat comes naturally to you. However, the official one becomes a headache, in this case English) especially when you were raised in an environment it was rarely spoken as against the indigenous ones. In Nigeria, there are three major tribes speaking these languages (Hausa, Yoruba, and Igbo) and over 200 ethnic groups with their peculiar dialect.

English language is taught in schools and used primarily as a means of communication in every day life in Nigeria. Children who attend A-List schools in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt have been known to possesses good oral and written communication skills ( which helps in the long run as employers look out for such). The popular vernacular a.k.a pidgin English  is a watered down version of the English language and is generally spoken through out the country, with its roots in old Bendel state (now Delta and Edo  states). Warri, however, has overtime become synonymous with it, naturally breeding stand up comedians in the country.

Over the years, there has been a raging controversy between teaching children the English language from the word go or starting of with the indigenous ones then later on introducing the English language. The school of taught canvassing for the use of the latter perhaps came on the heels of the children’s inability to have a meaningful conversation in their mother tongue, which invokes ridicule, embarrassment, gradual loss of ones’ cultural roots, inability to pass across a private message in the presence of strangers/visitors amongst others to parents. There was even a move to have a Nigerian lingua franca combining the three major languages which was thrown out of the window.

They insisted that certain countries spoke their own languages e.g China, India, the Middle East and were not subjected or mandated to speak the English language over and above theirs. But in a country with over 200 ethnic groups, shouldn’t there really be one language that links everyone ? Besides, the issue of language superiority comes into play, as no tribe sees languages of others superior to theirs. I’m an advocate for a combination of  training a child in both, starting however on a high note with the English language and then regularly injecting doses of indigenous language into him/her. Then the child as he grows up becomes good at both, and not just in one.

Those who have been bitten by the goofing bug are easy to fish out, they run but can’t hide. They fail to articulate properly, mix up tenses which births the errors, and it becomes really hard for people to understand what they’re saying because they’re always going back and forth on the same words, trying hard to search for the right words to say. Here are a few tips to help those who goof :

1. You’ll have to “come down to the level of a child and learn the basics from the very beginning”.

This is really hard for some to do, but the foundation is very important in building any structure and if you really want to learn, you’ll throw away the garment of  pride and put on humility’s.

2. Hire a private tutor if you can afford it or attend some public classes designed for this purpose

3. work a lot on pronunciation techniques, start with two, then three letter words, till you begin to expand the base, also know the (vowels / consonants) and the rules governing the use of each

4. learn new words every week and their meanings e.g 20/30 new words between Monday and Thursday, and on Friday get someone to test you

5. learn the rules governing the use of tenses, (present, past, past participle and when to apply them) and in general grammatical rules.  Get good foundational books for such eg “First Aid in English”

5. Read comprehension passages (remember from the basics) and answer them

6. Engage in writing compositions, it could be as simple as “A day I will never forget” (this is an effective tool for developing your creative mind because you can deploy the words you have learnt and use correct tenses in writing the story)

7. Don’t learn under pressure, let it flow naturally

8. Have a few friends you know who are willing to help correct (not laugh) at you when you speak with them. Also listen to what they say. Learn new words from them, from the eloquent ones around you, and from those on TV. Also try reading newspapers (aloud) and check up new words in the dictionary

9. Get a good dictionary and make it your companion. You could even have a pocket sized one you can conveniently carry about.

10. Get good books/ audio tapes that deal with how to speak well. The internet is a good medium to get good books written by professionals for this purpose.

11. Get rid of the “goofing fear” because it would only slow you down. You’ll be struggling within to say the right words, and remember, not everyone is patient enough to hear you out, even if what you’re about to say would make a whole lot of sense

12. Give yourself time, it’s good to set a goal and say “by the end of this year I won’t be goofing anymore”, but what happens if that does not happen? You’ll be hit once again by the frustration missile! Just settle it within you, that with time you’ll get there. You’ll be surprised you’d have stopped goofing and wouldn’t even know!

13. Above all, enjoy the lessons, but remember that the bulk of the work rest on your shoulders.

It’s been three years since we had the conversation and i now look at my friend with pride. His confidence in public meetings has been turbocharged, he elocutes properly and is articulate, because he dared to try, and gave it his best. So if you goof or know someone who goofs, just pat him on the back and counsel him with the aforementioned. You’ll be surprised at the results at the end of the day, because you were confident that he could be better. You might just be the next person to put a smile on someone’s face.

So long… auggiepo@yahoo.com

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About the Author:
Augusta Okon is a lawyer, novelist and runs ‘wise Insight’, an information hunting/writing services outfit in Lagos, Nigeria.Wise Insight helps Nigerians and foreigners to have access to credible, authentic information in topics,issues,areas, where they have little or no knowledge about within the Nigerian jurisdiction.

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Believe in Yourself: If someone keeps telling themselves that they’re bad at remembering names, they will most likely excel at it and even forget their own! Lack of belief in oneself is the only thing that ever deters us from succeeding at any task. Only if you tell yourself that you can do it, will you be able to be good at remembering names.

Make An Effort: You cannot expect yourself to remember a name if you don’t hear it in the first place! Whenever meeting a new person you should always keep your eyes and ears open, don’t give in to distractions; pay attention when the introductions are made. Business-related meetings are very important and making a good impression on the client is of top priority. You should make the person feel important and show ample respect.

First Hearing: As soon as a person is introduced by name, you must say it to yourself twice or thrice before saying it out loud at least once. You should try to say it exactly as you hear it. If you hear a unique, foreign or heavily accented name, you should not feel shy of asking for a clarification. Remembering names is possible only if you understand them, so familiarize yourself with the spelling and specially the pronunciation. For example, Henry is pronounced as [hen-ree] and also [awn-ree]. Pay special attention to the accent used by the person saying their own name. Always try to repeat the name after them and not just say, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say that again!” as it can seem impolite. If you show sincere effort in trying to learn their name the person will surely appreciate it.

Repetition: Repetition is the key to remembering names. You should try to use names in the conversations. Saying the person’s name over and over will help you familiarize yourself with the name. Using the person’s name and making eye contact is a very important part of communication tips

as your brain will automatically start associating the name used with the face seen while talking to the person.

A Name with a Face: The human brain has a special region for processing faces, so often you would recognize a person from his face but will end up short on syllables when it comes to their name. Visualize the name, imagine the letters in the name float above the person’s head and imagine them bounce along as you talk to them.

Show me the Meaning: It is easier to visualize names which mean something. For example, names like Summer, White, etc. are easy to visualize. Just imagine Ms. Summers wearing bright summer clothes, or Mr. White wrapped in a white bed-sheet. For names that don’t exactly mean anything, try breaking up the name, for example ‘Hillenberg’ can easily be broken down into and-berg (iceberg).

A Quick Jotting: Writing something down is the simplest way of remembering something for later reference, similarly for remembering names you can simply write down names on business cards or small notebooks.

Remembering names can be face saving in social arenas, help build contacts in the business world, and help you in your business communications.  Nobody likes to be called by the wrong name, but with small techniques and a little effort this task becomes second nature.

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About the Author:
Andrew Clayton is a writer with a passion for great speeches, communication tips, & public speaking skills who enjoys sharing insights about his passion with others
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