Posts Tagged ‘eye contact’
Project Self Confidence Through Positive Thinking
How often do your peers tell you to walk tall, stand proud, keep your chin up to persuade you to make a good impact. In fact what these sayings demonstrate is how vital our manner and unspoken message is in communicating who we are to the world. For instance if you are rich your family may have enrolled you on voice production lessons as a child, which would have educated you on how to carry yourself with confidence to those around you. I envisage that the majority of you reading this did not get the benefits of decorum lessons. You, of course, do not have to articulate like Joanna Lumley to express confidence to the world.
What is important, though, is body language and tone of voice. First impressions do matter and there is a lot of fact behind this. It is said that within just 5 seconds of meeting someone we form a judgement that affects our behaviour. With an ever more aggressive employment market creating the right impression can make or break your chances of having a successful interview or conducting a successful business agreement.
If you watch Dragons Den you can observe how the most successful participants to the den are the ones who can put on a refined presentation. Because as well as having an eye-catching merchandise they also seem to be the sort of individual that a backer would want to trade with. The art to being a success in life is that we need to learn how to positively sell ourselves.
Here are examples on the do’s and don’ts of selling yourself to prospective employers:
Don’t -
hang your head down
slump your shoulders forward
avoid eye contact.
Do -
hold your head high
stand with your shoulders thrust back
always maintain eye contact
The best way to maintain eye contact with someone is by looking between their eyes. It gives the impression that you are looking at them directly, but are in fact staring between their third eye. So by maintaining eye contact when speaking and listening creates a sense of familiarity and sincerity between yourself and the other person. One recent study asked an assembly of investors what they looked for in a successful pitch. Ranked among the most looked for things was eye contact.
It is important to maintain your air of confidence at all times so that it becomes a normal characteristic of your behaviour. It applies in all situations as well as stressful ones. It is said that you see the measure of someone when their back is to the wall and I personally agree with that statement 100%. Some people begin to panic in stressful situations and choose to engage in activities such as blaming others and finger pointing; rather than looking for an answer to the problem in a logical and serene way. If you want to be an appreciated and efficient person in charge then the way you deal with stress is what will decide whether you are cut out for it. Remember if you choose the former over the latter you are displaying limitation and a lack of confidence. When you make a conscious attempt to stay composed under pressure then you are far more likely to project the right vibes to others.
If your outward facade is not a true mirror image of what is going on inside, you will still convey the right signals to motivate those around you. That is the remarkable thing about confident body language. With a simple signal you can arouse confidence and respect in those around you. So get out there and start building up your self-confidence now!
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About the Author:
About The Author:
Belinda Daly is a certified trainer in hypnosis, a master practitioner in NLP and TLT. She also has a degree in metaphysics.
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Positive Self Confidence – In Seven Simple Steps!
Some people seem to be born full of confidence – you know the type; they stride into rooms expecting people to look at them and if they don’t get any attention, they’re not relieved – they’re disappointed!
Sure, for some people, this attitude comes naturally, but you can be just as sure there are plenty of others faking it!
So how do they do it? How can you do it too? Read on for seven effective steps to instant self-confidence!
1) Posture
It’s all in the strut! Take smooth, positive steps and walk steadily; never rush. Hold your head up and keep your back straight – bet your parents told you do that in school! Well, they were right – concentrate on practising your new posture and you’ll soon be walking tall!
2) Be Aware
This is very important – sometimes we are so concerned about how we are being perceived that we don’t take any notice of the people around us. But if you focus and take the time when you next have to walk into that dreaded room full of strangers, you’ll notice that they probably aren’t all staring and desperate to find fault with you! And if you focus on them, you’re a lot less likely to be worrying about yourself!
3) Eye Contact
Okay, so you know this one already right? But do you know why it’s so essential?
Maintaining eye contact with anyone you meet is essential; humans are able to interact in many ways other than verbally, and making eye contact is one of the most important tools we have to communicate. Subconsciously we often judge those we meet in this way and distrust people who won’t meet our gaze. You will appear to strangers as honest and, more importantly, to have a more positive self confidence if you can make eye contact and hold it. (Be careful not to stare though!) Just remember this trait is restricted to humans; don’t try it with your neighbor’s dog as canines perceive direct eye contact as a threat!
4) You’re The Next Top Model!
Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but never underestimate the importance of looking your absolute best. Lack of self-confidence can often result from dissatisfaction with the way you look and feel. Have you been wearing the same brand of jeans for the last ten years? Or even the very same pair? The same make-up? And hairstyle? Always buy the same style of shoes?
Take a good hard look at yourself and be honest with what you see. Do you feel a million dollars in that shirt?
It could even be worth investing in a stylist who will help you find the style that really suits you best – a good investment for your long-term future as a confident new person! If thats out of the question then ask a close friend how they think you look. But be sure to ask an honest friend!
5) Do Something That You Fear
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t have a fear or phobia of some kind. And not always the sort of things you’d imagine! Flying, heights, thunderstorms…these are common fears that can make the hardiest of us want to crawl into a hole. These can be quite rational, if unfounded fears, but some people are scared of the strangest things – I have a friend with an outright dread of sponges!
But whatever you’re frightened of, if you can summon the strength to tackle your fear your confidence will get an immediate kick. Imagine exactly how proud you will feel as you step off that flight, or walk across the highest bridge you can find – believe me, it’s a powerful instant confidence booster.
6) If You Just Smile…
This is a simple one – but extremely effective! Smile at a stranger every day; you could even throw in a ‘good morning’ if you feel like it! Such a simple strategy can work wonders for your confidence. And if you get ignored, just accept that the stranger has less positive self confidence than you. Go and try the next person!
7) Honesty – Is It Really The Best Policy?
If you’re less than honest with people, it’s going to blow your cover straight away. You may have all your weapons in your confidence armoury but if you are struggling to be truthful it’s going to be obvious straightaway. So yes, honesty really is the best policy. Of course, that can be easier said than done, so prepare yourself with some worked out answers for those tricky questions that can throw you off your stride.
Follow these seven steps and I’m absolutely certain that very soon you will look around and realise you’re not ‘faking it’ anymore – you really will have a new positive self confidence!
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Tags: room full of strangers, threat 4, self confidence, walking tall 2, eye contact